She Babbles

[TW for mentions of: pregnancy, babies, coercion. ]

Here we go.

The anti-choice brigade often cites adoption as the solution for people that decide they need to terminate a pregnancy.  “Don’t abort,” they say, “put the child up for adoption!”

I am an adoptee.

I am all for people adopting children that currently exist.  I am in favour of people saying “No” to fertility treatments and saying “Yes” to giving a child that’s stuck in the system a forever home - if the individual is ready for that responsibility.  I am for supporting organizations like the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption (plus: the foundation does not spout anti-gay bigotry and states that the number of parents and the gender of parents does not matter, which is so true).

I amnotfor adding to the population of children that are in the system and making the wait longer for older children.

Most people that seek to adopt look for white, healthy infants - children that arenotwhite, are disabled, and/or are not infants, tend to be left in the system to age out of it.  The lucky ones get adopted by caring people, or wind up in foster homes that give a damn.

Pressuring pregnant people to carry their fetus to term in order to put it up for adoption does absolutely no good for anyone.  It isnota solution.

I was lucky.  My adoption was private, between my mother, her lawyer, and my parents.  My parents were turned down by Children’s Aid because of my mom’s childhood and because they lived in an apartment instead of a house, even though dad had a steady job and mom was more than willing to be a stay-at-home mom (she was until I was ten years old).

If I had been put in the system, there’s a chance I may not have found a loving home.  As much as I complain about my family, I do love them dearly and Iknowhow lucky I am - and how lucky I am to have extended family now that accepts me even though they’ve never met me.

Stop citing adoption as a solution.  It is only a solution when people are actuallyadopting, when the system works in the favour of the children (not turning down adoptive parents based upon race, whether they own or rent, sexuality, whether it’s a couple or a single person seeking to adopt, etc), and when the child was not born from coercion.

Let people abort if the want and need to, let people carry to term if they want to, let people put up for adoption if they want to - it’s about choice.  Citing this one thing as the only solution, however, is ludicrous.  There is never only one choice.

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